I was a Stupid Driver

I was a stupid driver for many years. Of course it was when I was young so I have an excuse. My biggest problem was speeding. I also did some other stupid things like passing in dangerous situations. But the absolute most idiotic thing I ever did was backing my father's car through the front window of a Pizza Restaurant.

Lucky for me I didn’t hurt anyone inside the restaurant. But I did have to pay for the window ($275) and to replace the exhaust system ($900) that was ripped off the bottom of the car. At sixteen that was a lot of money.

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to being cured. These days I am a safe driver. I don’t speed, I don’t tailgate, I use my turn signals and I always wear my seatbelt. But I am surrounded by idiots.

If you’re like me and just want to drive without some moron attached to your rear bumper then welcome. The stories chronicled here will help you know you’re not alone. Think of this as a 12-step program to becoming a smart and safe driver.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Drunk and Stupid Driver

Driving Drunk and Stupid in Palm City, FL

Alan was hammered. So much so that he drove his jeep liberty over the curb in front of his house and got stuck in his own front yard. Someone saw him driving like a drunk and called the Martin County Sheriff. Alan claimed that his jeep was tucked in the bushes because it had been raining.

The problem is that his explanation made as much sense as parking in a tree because it's a sunny day and it had not been raining. The Sheriff gave Alan a break. He was home and told the officers that he was going to stay home. The problem is that he didn't. He got back in the car, got it unstuck, and drove.

The Sheriffs caught up with Alan a second time at 2:15 in the morning. This time they took him to jail. Where he spent the night and had to post a $1000 bond. $500 for the DUI and another $500 for obstruction. The $1000 is just the beginning. The average cost of a DUI in Florida is $8000.

Here are the details of the arrest from the Martin County, Florida Sheriff:

Booking Nbr: 4302024181 Booking Date: 08/03/07 Time: 02:13:32

Arresting Agency: MCS Officer: JUNG Place of Arrest: SR 714 @ SUNSET TRACE CIR PALM CITY FL

Initial Arrest Date for these charges: 08/03/07

Charge: FS*316.193(1A) DRIVE UNDER INFLUENCE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS Bond: 500.00

Charge: FS*843.02 OBSTRUCT WO VIOLENCE Bond: 500.00

The only question now is did Alan learn anything or will he drive stupid again...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This story is actually not that unusual. I have an alcoholic living next door who regularly parks his car half in the street and up on the curb.

The police have spoken to him several times but so far they have not caught him actually driving.